Russian Invasion of Ukraine Blamed on M&M’s Redesign

By Daniel Altzman ‘24
    Many pundits and so-called news anchors have been sharing opinions on Russia’s decision to invade Ukraine. Fox anchor Tucker Carlson has shared a unique opinion that may be closest to the truth. 

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“The M&M’s redesign is the cause for the invasion of Ukraine,” he said on his show. He explained this by saying, “The redesign of the M&M’s into less sexy characters has wounded capitalism so much that Russia can invade Ukraine without much opposition.”
When the editors of The Flame questioned Carslon on his lack of sources or backing for his claims, he responded, “The woke M&M’s are brainwashing you.  If you stopped ingesting the liberal chemicals they are laced with, you would understand this logic.” 
As the war rages on, Carlson’s understanding has gained more and more credible support.  
David Duke, a former Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan, stated that, “Standing up against Russia and the woke M&M’s makes Tucker Carlson a fine warrior against the cultural Marxists and Critical Race Theory traitors tearing this country apart.”  Duke then refused to answer any further questions. 
Other political figures such as Alex Jones and Donald Trump share Duke’s opinion, also refusing to answer many questions. 
When asked for his view on the relationship between the M&M’s redesign and the Russian invasion, Former President Trump stated, “The Democrats are helping with the M&M’s redesign so that Russia will rule and delete my presence on social media.”

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