|
By Hannah Zoller ‘26
In an announcement this morning, the Israeli government revealed its bold and innovative plan to relocate the entire country to Europe, all in the hopes of finding an even more exciting array of enemies to battle. The move comes after years of feeling "under-appreciated" by its long-standing adversaries in the Middle East, who have reportedly grown "bored" with the same old disputes.
0 Comments
By Alma Adiel ‘27
The annual alumni basketball game at Golda Och Academy is usually a lighthearted battle between the current Varsity Boys' team and previous players who are now alumni. This year, it quickly plunged into an array of missed layups, airballs, and a very angry commentator. By Logan Gladstone ‘28
In June 2024, I received a beautiful package from Kim Jong Un inviting me on an all-expenses-paid trip to North Korea. The package contained a beautiful traditional Korean doll, but before I could open the rest, my mom called bomb control in fear. The trip lasted two weeks and included a variety of activities. I got to experience all North Korea has to offer. Here are the six most memorable things I did. By Logan Gladstone ‘28
In the early morning of January 6th, 2025, at 12 pm, with oat milk lattes in hand and vegan leather shoes, supporters of former President Biden stormed the Capitol in Washington, D.C. By Remy Friedberg ‘28
Men across the country expect to see major breakthroughs in men’s rights once the Trump Administration gets its way. By Jordana Lorrimer ‘28
After serious conversations and debates, the Supreme Court has made the controversial and groundbreaking decision to extend the right to bear arms to include personal tanks. By Noah Cytrynbaum ‘28
After a bloody coup in which GOA senior Shayne Cytrynbaum overthrew the U.S. democratic regime, he was declared President for Life and Military Dictator. The constitution was suspended, martial law declared, and a state of emergency put in place. By Violet Berman ‘27
At Golda Och Academy, the new Torah and Technology class has taken the revolutionary step of replacing the teachers, Rabbi Nevins and Rabbi Botzum, with their AI-generated doppelgängers. By Josh Lancman ‘24
With the juniors halfway through the self-defined most difficult year of our lives, many wonder: how is the class of 2024 so devoid of anxiety? By Austin Colm ‘25
As the world tries to heavily reduce its environmental footprint, Exxon has drawn up some clever ways to reduce its emissions. |
Welcome to The Phlegm! This is Golda Och Academy's annual satirical issue of the Flame. Enjoy and be sure to check out our typical news and review pages.
Archives |
RSS Feed